Some say that posting things online alleviates stress, allows you to live a happier life and helps you remember all those times you thought you were screwed and how you got through it...
Here's hoping.
There's not much to say and I won't really be posting too too often but I decided to start this up again for those of you who care to read.
In reading over posts from the past, I have a funny feeling. Hindsight is 20/20 but what would happen if we had better foresight? I mean...coming to university and getting my butt handed to me over and over again is not what I would call a motivator...but I was so wide-eyed and bushy-tailed in my old posts, so content with life and so happy. Then university changed it all. Sure, we're supposed to be learning more about ourselves and supposed to be having the best days of our lives...so why am I not?
Over the past couple years in university, I've hit the lowest points in my life. Times were I felt stupid, alone, scared, unsure of myself have been frequent. There have been times where I sat in my room and literally cried over the overwhelming pressure of school and the future that hinged upon the marks I received. I would stare blankly at a number that summed up my abilities and knowledge attained over a semester, a single two-digit number was all I had to show for the money, time and effort I put in.
Why is it like this though? That our money, sweat, blood, tears and other bodily fluids need to be sacrificed all for the sake of a few numbers on a page and a sheet of ornate paper? Do those things really tell people about ourselves? What we are worth, who were are and what we can do? There has got to be a better way. Sure, a degree is important and will net you a better job but why is it that way? What happened to earnestly hiring people who were suited to these jobs? What worth is a degree?
What sets apart someone with a degree in general arts from someone else? A piece of paper saying that you've passed a bunch of courses, congratulations. How does a degree prepare you for anything at all? Over 75% of people say that they do NOT use much of the information they gleaned from long nights at the library and long days spent in front of a computer typing.
University? What a waste of time. It's not the great educator of the masses...the thing that separates the higher-ups from the lower-downs. University is just a big filter for the world to categorize and judge the upcoming generations....to push them into roles that have been set into place before.
University? It's overrated and over privileged.
Yet, bearing this in mind, I still find myself sitting here and thinking about my assignments and things I need to get done. If this continues I don't see myself making it through 3 more years of this trash. People can tell me what they want, "try harder", "try this", "try that", and "maybe you should..."
It doesn't change anything. I've tried all of that, and this, and all the maybes. What works for you, does not work for me. Here's hoping that God meets me when I'm at my lowest because I might be there soon.
